writing

Troublesome Time Jars

Emotions and thoughts are often sealed away...

Within our clutches, we regularly hold a clear jar that is filled with suffered time, evaporated tears and a calamity of occurrences. Its weight radiates a heavy heart that we carry, like an anchor placed firmly on our chest, it often makes us walk on our knees without us  ­­­­­­realising. Most days the collision between the heaviness of my heart and my eagerness to smile leaves me wondering alone down a corridor filled with empty photo frames.

They say it takes time to overcome the darkness and replace it with light, but my strength was conceived in the black when the positive was as existent in my life as my shadows are in the dark. You see, I've walked through hours to crawl through my minutes, time is neither my friend nor my saviour, it's instead a black hole filled with birthdays, New Years and a whole other bunch of meaningless numbers. I never spoke to time until the day I died. I fell into the pits of a black hole, my soul was thrown, broken into pieces that were floating like it had been poured into the Red Sea. In that black hole, time could neither hold me together nor comfort me. The mono-conversations that occurred in that dark hole were only answered with time. Eventually. 

 I guess a life with no tragedy tastes like water. In my blackened spell it was almost as if the rain and the earth had submerged together in my eyes and sealed the view ahead for my hope to figure out on its own. Like a porcelain doll I felt empty, emotionless and muted behind my painted face, it was hereafter that I grasped the basic concept that everything passes with time; emotions, environments…human life and so on. We only awake from life’s monotonous ways when problems surface and make us question any safe haven we have ever created in our minds. What will always set us apart besides from our skin and bones is our will power to achieve the unachievable when it's to be believed that we have nothing else to live for. When you finally realise that you are still walking on your knees, it’s what you do thereafter that actually defines who you are as a person. Until you find yourself in a black hole, I really don’t think it is possible to measure how strong we actually are as individuals. 

 Today, time has not only knocked on my door and invited me outside for walk along life's stepping stones, time has built a door on each one of the four walls I had built inside my mind where the unrealistic and fabricated re-takes of the past existed. Sometimes we overlook our own strength and dismiss time as a healer so we choose to exit our problems and mind-sets at hefty cost. In my own personal experience,  I can wholeheartedly say that when it comes down to it,  my reality has taught me that a time endured, is a time well spent.